In another two and a bit months I'm going to be saying sayonara to Hamada.
Sayonara to my school. Sayonara to the kids. Sayonara to my friends.
As well as to Nozza balla and Ms Thing.
This weekend I was talking to another JET who, I think, is having a pretty difficult time of it. I completely understand how he's feelin - like him I came here straight from graduating Univesity, had always lived in a big city and found the experience overwhelming.
I felt completely isolated.
Nobody in my Board of Education spoke English, I couldn't speak Japanese. I couldn't drive and to get out of my lil town to have any interaction with anybody was a mission - buses were few and far between and the bus stop was 4km away. Walking there in the snow was a bitch.
I had also just come out of a three year relationship and was feeling incredibly needy and unsure of myself and had no confidence. That combined with the other factors was not a good mix.
Anybody who knew me at that time would agree I was in a very emotional, difficult place.
In saying all that, I would not change anything. I think going through all of that, experiencing all that made me a much better person. Now I feel like Ive changed a lot - I can cope a lot better with my emotions, Im a lot more confident and I am proud of the person Ive become.
I was lucky enough to meet fantastic people. People, esp like Ms K, who told me to get a holda myself, to stop whinging, to stop being so self pitying when they needed to, when I was acting a bit much.
People who supported me and who have given me some great memories and expeiences.
Most of all Nozzaballa and Ms Thing. I honestly don't know how Im gonna say goodbye to them. They've been everything to me and every memory that I can remember, every good experience and every bad, they've been there. How can you say thank you for that? How can you tell them how much they mean to you? There is no way. It's true, words aren't enough. They've given me something that is indescribale.
Yet in two months Im gonna be leaving this place, leaving them, and its gonna kill me. Leaving my friends back home was bad enough, but leaving them is gonna be hard.
Like leaving family, leaving a part of myself.
But wherever I go, whateva I do (which is a BIG question right now) I know they're always gonna be my girls.
Good times and bad times. The best of times, the worst of times.
Without going through all the crap, the craziness, the shit, I wouldn't know how fantastic my life is right now.
And if just for that reason, everythings been worth it.
